Grant Andrews is an academic from Cape Town whose interest includes issues of spirituality. In The Joy of Being Incomplete: Embrace Your Imperfections and Live Your Best Life, the same volume in which Andrews stated that our actions are Symptom of the ingrained-self, he proceeds to suggest a model for this ingrained-self–the foundation upon which its nature is laid.
The ingrained parts of yourself are inherited from the people you spend most of your time with, and the strongest feelings you have when you are in their presence. When you resent something about your parent, and you allow that resentment to persist and grow, it becomes part of your ingrained self. Once this happens you will either present similar behaviour to what you resented most, or you will grow a strong preoccupation with that trait, and probably find yourself around many more people who present it. When you admire something in your sibling and see that trait as defining them, and you feed love, happiness and togetherness into that admiration, that trait will become ingrained into your being, and you will either present it yourself or find it presented in those around you.
Complement this insight with Grant Andrews on the search for self-discovery being an absolutely unselfish quest.