Oftentimes, we refrain from doing things we ought to do, or from taking steps we ought to take just because we care too much about what people will think or how they’ll feel about us as a consequence of our actions.
Many ideas have been nipped in the bud, many relationships have remained uninitiated and many lives have remained unproductive simply because too much care is being taken about other people’s perception of us.
Almost everyone of us do this at one time or another. Even those of us who make claims, especially on social media, that “I don’t care what people think about me”, that “I do the things I do for myself”, that “I am me regardless of what people think”.
For days now, I’ve been paying closer attention to instances in my daily life where I didn’t do things I wanted or ought to do because I was concerned about what others might think about me if I did, and also instances where I do things basically because I care about what others will say about me for doing it.
What I do is I pay attention to those instances and I examine and take note of what people’s reactions will eventually be after either doing my thing because of want of praises or not doing them because of fear of rebukes. I’ve realized that against my perception, people don’t really care if I do my thing, likewise they don’t really care if I didn’t do my thing.
Let me break this down in two brief points:
1. People are too Occupied with Themselves to Even Care About You.
Nobody came to this world to live for you. No. Nobody came to this world just so they could take note of your every activities. No. We all have our personal life journeys and everybody is struggling with their own journey just as you are struggling with yours.
So many times when you are thinking, “What will this person think about me now?”, they actually didn’t notice you pass by them, they are deeply engrossed in thoughts of their own life.
2. While You are Wondering What They Think About You, They are Also Wondering What You Think About Them.
Many times, when we are wondering what others will think about us, they are also at the same time wondering what we’ll think about them. Some way or another we are all seeking validations from outside ourselves.
The knowledge of this should help each of us cut down the amount of care we give to other’s perception of us.
When you’re aware that just as you are curious of and insecure about what people think about you, these people are also curious of and insecure about what you think about them, you’ll learn to take a deep breath and say to yourself, “they are human too, susceptible to the same things I’m susceptible to; they are human too, imperfect just as I am. So why worry myself too much about their validation? Why bring upon myself unnecessary headache worrying about what their opinion about me will be?”
Bottom Line 1
if they did care about you and they go about thinking things and forming perceptions about you, it doesn’t still mean you should give a damn.
Bottom Line 2
Yea, it’s easier said than done — this not giving a damn thing — but it’s advisable all the same. You just shouldn’t care too much about other’s perception of you — for the two reasons stipulated above, and more.
They are as imperfect as you are, they almost usually go through the same set fears as yours, so just key into this realization and consciously drive out the worry and fear of other’s perception and go do something, even if it’s just for once, for yourself.