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You’re Not Your Father: Preventing Yourself from a Bad Father’s Influence

You’re Not Your Father: Preventing Yourself from a Bad Father’s Influence

Olanrewaju Lawal
  • A subtle reminder that although your father's identity can greatly influence yours, you have the power to break the chain of a bad father's badness by choosing to live a life in total contrast to his.

Most times, a child is the second version of his father. For example, take a look at yourself and make a careful comparison with your father. You will realize that there is consistent pattern and subtle resemblance between you. Whatever your father is doing (good or bad), there’s is a possibility that you will do two times greater than he did. It is genetic.

On the one hand, your father may be a devil in disguise; he may be a liar, a molester, a monster, a drug dealer. On the other hand, he may be an angel, loved by many, a cheerful giver, people helper. Whichever one he is, you’re just like him. You may not know it yet, or maybe you know it and you are just acting in denial of the realization, but then you know deep within that you’re just like your father.

However, this does not mean that if your father is bad, you have to be like him. The fact that genetic and social wiring makes your father’s identity have great influence on yours doesn’t mean you cannot be the opposite of what he is. Of course, it won’t happen easily, especially when there are not much people you can emulate in his place.

You may even hate your father so much that you don’t want to live near him. But hey, no matter how much you hate your father for who he is, do not let it stop the good in you from manifesting.

The Story of Tariq St. Patrick from Power

Let’s take a look at an interesting character from Power, the American crime drama television series: Tariq St. Patrick.

Tariq was born and raised in a Penthouse in a decent neighborhood in New York City. He had everything on a platter of gold provided by his father, James St Patrick, whom, to his children, was a legit businessman, but in the real sense, was a devil incarnate.

James was born and raised in Queens Manhattan, a rugged neighborhood in New York, no good house, no chance of going to school but he had many dreams, to be a better person, and to never see his kids go through what he went through.

He started selling drugs to survive when he was just 9 years old. He worked along with many underprivileged kids and he rose to become the main distributor in the whole of New York with every drug network and gangs working for him from bottom to top. He became the number one guy and he was nicknamed Ghost. Nothing happens without him sanctioning it. His name commanded fear and respect, but to his kids, he was a legit businessman. He did all his best to give the best of life to his children so that they do not have to sell drugs, especially, his son Tariq.

When Tariq came of age, he met associates of his father, who told him who his father James really was. They told him how his father had made millions of dollars from the trade. That was when it hit Tariq that he’s not a bastard, he was like his father. All the street instincts started kicking in even though he was not raised on the streets like his father but the feeling was always there. His father didn’t have education but became successful, so he started hating school, he felt he could be better than his father. He started learning the drug trade from his father’s friends in the business. Remember, James didn’t what such life for Tariq, but Tariq as a replica of his father does not share his father’s sentiments, he wanted to be like his father.

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Tariq got in to the game, sold drugs in school, went on robbery operations, got his sister killed and killed his sister’s killer. In a bid to become a worse version of his father, he confronted his father and asked to be taught the drug business because, apparently, nobody was better than him. He eventually succeeded in becoming a worse version of his father, despite that his father tried to shield him.

Your father may be a bad example to you and your siblings, you must never let him be your source of influence. He may have reasons for doing all he did in the past but never forget that no matter how bad a man can be, there will be a little good part of him, embrace that little and vouch never to let his bad influence rub you off your positive influence in life.

You are very important to God and He wants you to be a good example to your children and this generation at large. If you’re engaged in any form of crime for any reason, no matter how careful you are, you might be endangering the lives of the children God has put in your care and you will account for their lives.

Somehow, it is possible that your father’s bad influence will reflect in your life, however, you have the capacity to turn such influence to a positive one. You can correct your father’s mistakes by living a honorable life for your children to emulate. Don’t repeat your father’s mistakes!

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