What’s Holding You Back, Dear?

When we aim for big success, for reaching high goals and becoming the best version of ourselves— we can not let anything hold us back from it. But ironically, several times we’ve let even the most inconsequential things hold us back. Things like self-doubt, leading to lack of motivation, leading to inconsistency, leading ultimately to stunted growth.

However, life is a continuous pilgrimage and success is a lifelong journey and we are still (and would now and forevermore be) responsible for creating our own opportunities and taking chances that pop up for us.

In other, more precise word, you have to be the first person believing in yourself and you have to believe the most.

Secret opportunities will always occur, you just have to be brave enough to take chances, even when you don’t feel ready. Feeling ready is a myth and you will never be ready, so just go for it and do it. This is something I’m learning the hard way.

As far as I am concerned, just as Elisha Mamman puts it in this conversation I had with him, it is the workings of your mind, your mentality, the way you feel about your life and work, the esteem you have for yourself, that set you on a path of success.

You keep complaining about the influence of external factors like shortage of money and meaningful relationships as major hindrances to our growth. However, the reality is that the only thing holding you back is your mind–that is, the poor state of your mind.

Until we start developing our minds–the mindset and mentality, the beliefs and esteems, the courage and resilience–we won’t grow. When all these soft points are taken care of, we begin to see extraordinary results.

When will you start empowering your mind for greatness?

This Week’s Signal of Clarity

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success [book]

This book is a treatise on how we can learn to fulfill our potential. In this groundbreaking book, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, shows how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset—those who believe that abilities are fixed—are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset—those who believe that abilities can be developed. Mindset reveals how great parents, teachers, managers, and athletes can put this idea to use to foster outstanding accomplishment.

What is the biggest obstacle to success? [essay]

Some weeks ago, I sat down with Elisha Mamman, a big name in the personal development and specifically the mindset recovery ecosystem in Nigeria. We had a discussion centered around mindset and how we can harness it to catalyze great changes in our lives. We also talked about the importance of company (relationships) and how deliberateness helps us create the most effective group of companies for our personal growth. We then bordered on a little psychology of impact: how impact is not limited by an age barrier. As Mr. Mamman said, “Young people should know that any level they are cost them a particular amount of struggle, so they can help another person to go through lesser struggle in reaching the same level.”

The secret is that you can create an entire lifestyle off helping people watch out from falling into the same loopholes you fell into. Learn more from this insightful conversation here.

Do you say sorry too much? [essay]

One of the things I am learning is that there is a psychological signal the number of sorrys (and how we say the sorrys) we say has on the people we communicate with on a daily basis. “When we needlessly apologize, we end up making ourselves small and diminish what we’re trying to express, says sociologist Maja Jovanovic.” Read this TED article to catch the full gist behind this argument.

The greatest measure of success is…

Take a second to fill that blank from your perspective.



Time up!

In this lengthy Quartz essay Jenny Anderson sets a spotlight on a different metric other than the ones we usually place for success. Similar to the third metric (after money and power) defined by Arianna Huffington in Thrive, Jenny suggests that community is ultimately the unparalleled measure of success. And what does community mean? It means, as Warren Buffet puts it, “Do the people you care about love you back?”

Even the rich and powerful are realigning themselves with this realization. The world’s top achievers are creating causes that enhance community so as to satisfy their sense of fulfillment and purpose.

The ultimate success question then is neither “Do you have enough money?” nor “Do you have great power?” but rather “When all is said and done, do you have a community you can call your own?”

– Tope.

Tope Akintayo
Tope Akintayo is a traveler on the road to becoming, creator of The Witsprouts Projects and principal at The Tope Consult, a new media and digital marketing consultancy for small businesses.

Leave a Reply